Waiting for an Early Evening Star - A Meditation
Click the play button on the audio bar below to listen, and read along with the poem:
Waiting for an Early Evening Star - A Meditation
(Written on the R train from Union St. Station to 14th St. - Roundtrip, Brooklyn to Manhattan)
You wait for something
you cannot entirely see
Like an early evening star,
you can’t look directly at it -
when you peer straight at the thing,
it vanishes into the expanse
Patiently,
you send out your vision
and your energy
and your prayers to the Gods
of fruition and futures
of early evening stars
And of the dark
Life feels hard-fought and tiring
and you get restless and frustrated -
irritated at moments, people and things
that normally wouldn’t bother you,
and you feel less than your full self,
ready for that moment when
your life feels finally settled
You walk up your block at night
and breathe in the world
the trees, the lights, the voices
the night sky, the open air -
all which your body craves
Deep and expectant,
you try to inhale the future into your lungs -
and like the moon tugging at the tide,
you pull it towards you like gravity
You my friend
are a living metaphor
Whether made by
randomness or choice,
by the Gods of waiting
or by chance alone -
none living can say
Either way, you’re a part of everything
Alive in a living world -
seeking an expansive self,
and a settled heart,
that may or may not come
People older and wiser would say to you,
”Peace is possible now”
”Wholeness is possible now”
but someone else’s advice
doesn’t take away your wish for clarity,
or your anxious stomach in the morning
or make an early evening star appear, does it
But deep down,
you want to believe them...
...that what they say is true…
That despite the restlessness
and despite the waiting
You already have everything you need
hidden somewhere inside you, just out of sight,
vanishing when you look straight at it,
which gives you the power and awareness
to be completely at home within
your own body, mind, heart and spirit
and its truth does not depend
on whether you believe all those older and wiser than you
The same way that the existence of the star
does not depend on you seeing it
So in place of being able to believe them,
May you believe that it is possible to believe them
Let that be your start
Let that be your early evening star,
just beginning to rise
Existing,
with or without your perception
Existing,
whether you acknowledge it or not
whether you believe in it or not
whether you look directly at it or not
May breath be yours as your inhale the world
May peace be yours as you tug at the moon
May patience be yours as you wait
for that early evening star to reveal itself
above you and within you
and May you embody that early evening star,
existing fully, with or without
the perception of others
When have you had to wait for something in your life? What in your life feels like an early evening star, present yet just out of sight, vanishing when you look straight at it?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below, or send me a message at wes@livethecuriouslife.com
